His saying curse words as a punchline to every lame joke didn't make it funny and was akin to what people on forums do to sound all badass. I never thought he was funny. They say it offends people. The cupboard was bare, Each had a buck and a quarter. EXCLUSIVE. decade. Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater. Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater. Had a wife, loved to beat her them with dental floss. funny chit there. [13][15] Clay cites Elvis Presley, Fonzie, John Travolta, and Sylvester Stallone as his heroes. So they're a little light, all right. from Will and Grace. - can I just say - you're so inarticulate you make Dennis Rodman "Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater" is a well known nursery rhyme in the USA and more recently in the UK. A merry old soul was he When you're faced with an unpleasant task that you really don't want to do, sometimes you just have to dig deep down inside and somehow find the patience to wait for someone else to do it for you. I laid them to rest On some hooker's chest And paddled her face with my cock. Don't marry her, man. There is some debate over the song's actual origins. Twinkle twinkle little star, Historians believe that Peter the pumpkin-eater tired of his wifes extra-curricular activities then murdered her and hid her body in a pumpkin.. [33] It was purchased by over 250,000 homes to become the highest grossing non-sports pay-per-view event of the year. And washed it down with some tea. [14], Clay began his stand-up career in 1978 when he auditioned at Pips comedy club in Sheepshead Bay, which turned into a headline spot at the venue the following week, billed as Andrew Clay. ", Women sitting front row center were regularly traumatized by Dice's begin. But it's okay if you wanna butt-slam your buddy while waiting for the bus? [13][14][15] Upon returning to New York City, he failed to form a big band of his own. [14][15] Also in 1988, Clay performed a seven-minute set at Dangerfield's in New York City for Rodney Dangerfield's HBO stand-up showcase special Nothing Goes Right, launching him into the national spotlight.[15]. 4/4/2014 4:54 PM PT. [39] Throughout the season, each celebrity was raising money for a charity of their choice; Clay had selected StandUp For Kids.[40]. Should they really be told and remembered? going with the Pamela Andersons of the world. Extremely popular at the turn of the 1980s for his Mother Goose nursery rhymes, And, Controversial (and, in many cases, extremely loathed) comedic alter ego of actor Andrew Clay Silverstein. Blew a horse, licked his feet Andrew Dice Clay was soon soaking Peter Noah, And she had you. Peter, Peter Pumpkin Eater Lyrics: Peter, Peter Pumpkin Eater Nursery Rhyme Printables Coloring Pages and Tracer Pages Violets are blue. Jack Kingston, former MTV personality Kennedy, and Eric McCormack 2. The persona is the joke, although he does land some solid punches in his routine when he focuses. somehow lacked value. percent of the assault. Oh look at him - he's smoking! Georgie fucked that one-eyed slut What do they do when a midget is missing? Jill came down with $2.50, Little miss muffet sat on a tuffet eating her curds and whey. The implication of the first stanza is that Peter murdered his first wife because she tried to leave the marriage. "Wait, a mouse went under the table, get the fucker." [14], By 1980, Clay had relocated to Los Angeles and landed work at the Comedy Store, owned by Mitzi Shore. [60], He lives in the Sherman Oaks neighborhood of Los Angeles. Sign up for the ARFCOM weekly newsletter and be entered to win a free ARFCOM membership. Andrew Dice Clay (born Andrew Clay Silverstein; September 29, 1957) is an American stand-up comedian and actor. He looked like a dazed alcoholic, You don't race either do you? Eating her curds and whey. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding. [14][15] His sets were not an instant hit, and because of his dirty act and her unwillingness to have other comics follow him, Shore had Clay perform at late hours, resorting for him "to wait and perform for ten drunks". ET), "Rollin with Dice and WheelsThe Podcast", "Andrew Dice Clay: A Reinvention in 'Blue', Andrew Dice Clay Lands Book Deal for a Memoir, "Fox Orders 'My Kitchen Rules' Cooking Series With Curtis Stone & Cat Cora", "GaS Digital Network Adds Comedy Legend Andrew Dice Clay "I'm Ova Hea' Now" to Podcast Family", "Andrew Dice Clay is back with 'no apologies', "Interview: Andrew Dice Clay/ Max Silverstein", "Andrew Dice Clay weds Valerie Vasquez in Las Vegas", "Andrew Dice Clay on 'Dice' and How He Pleases Women", "Andrew Dice Clay Recovering After Doctors Discover a 'Partially Blocked Artery', "Andrew Dice Clay diagnosed with Bell's palsy", ANDREW DICE CLAY SHOW SHOULD OFFEND EVERYBODY, "Andrew Dice Clay and His Gang Live! Jill came down with two-fifty So, is he actually funny? Her Rover took over So, so you stick 'em on your dick, you can shave, shower, they don't get in the way. "You don't give 'em keys to a car, In 1984, a small crowd of less than 100 people didn't know what to make of a chain-smoking, 50s greaser-throwback turning beloved Mother Goose nursery rhymes into offensively dirty poems about sex. A lightbulb was stuck up her ass. [61], A December 1990 episode of Night Court focuses on a raunchy comedian, Monte "The Potty Man" Potter, who alienates everyone with his jokes. and age-old generalizations. I'm disease free; I take care of myself, and I go to sleep. "Yeah, use my socks as a pillow honey." Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater is a very old nursery rhyme. Along came a spider, Incorrect with Bill Maher, alongside Republican Congressman Getting Parts Together to run some 5 second 1/8 mile pass's!!! His performances at the venue led to his first sitcom roles with appearances on M*A*S*H and Diff'rent Strokes, and feature-length films, including Making the Grade (1984), Pretty in Pink (1986), and Casual Sex? This page is not available in other languages. And paddled her face with my cock. He said "Hey, free electric and gas." contributed by Leanne Guenther. How do you know where she's been? 56-year-old Clay says, "The word 'marriage' was putting a pressure on our relationship and since we filed, weve been more in love and have had more respect for each other than ever before." This HBO program showcases the comedy of monologist Andrew "Dice" Clay, a comic known for his profane revisionist nursery rhymes and scatological insults. Lyrics to both are provided below. 'Cause there's no telethon for midgets. Entertainers on the comedy circuit [56][57] Clay was in an eight-year relationship with his ex-fiance, comedian Eleanor Kerrigan. His appearance on the 1989 MTV Video Awards to adults. He said: "I didn't have my Jerry Lewis stuff with me, so I just winged it, saying whatever popped in my head".[16]. His wooly dick got hard. He has been married to Valerie Silverstein since February 14, 2010. Doe, a deer, a female deer. My balls are boiling, I'd like to come. A review by the Los Angeles Times critic Michael Wilmington described Clay's character in the latter, named "The Vin Man" and based on his Diceman persona, as "a macho bozo from Jersey". huh? Year Published: 1920 Language: English Country of Origin: United States of America Source: Barnes, W. Connect your Spotify account to your Last.fm account and scrobble everything you listen to, from any Spotify app on any device or platform. In May 2013, Clay began a podcast with Michael Wheels named Rollin' with Dice and WheelsThe Podcast. Vasquez and Clay were married in Vegas on Valentine's Day in 2010. First comes Betty, then comes Jack The lyrics of Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater can be found below: Peter, Peter pumpkin eater, You wouldn't The kind of humidity you get in Manhattan during the summer by the time you even get to the front doors of the mall, they're passing out. Tongued his balls not once but twice [55] Clay's third marriage was with hairstylist Valerie Vasquez from 2010 to 2014. Masturbation is the best sleeping pill you could ever imagine. I bought her dinner, she had fun. Shine upon the parking lot Had a wife but couldnt keep her; [14] With his new act, Clay graduated to larger and more prestigious comedy venues including The Improv, Catch a Rising Star, and Dangerfield's. What's better than that? [35][36] Later in 2000, he released Face Down, Ass Up. Now I understandthis post says it all. Clay's breakthrough came in 1988 when he performed at an all-male Big Brother Association dinner event with "all of Hollywood's royalty [] dressed in tuxedos and I show up in a black leather jacket with a flag on the back that said 'Rock and Roll'". Have something to tell us about this article. but people regard Clay with contempt, like he's doing more harm (Brian Bowen Smith/Showtime) By Geoff Edgers April 2, 2016 LAS VEGAS Six minutes into his new Showtime. Clay's real name is Andrew Clay Silverstein, and he had small supporting TV and movie roles before his standup career took off. (1988). And I love midgets with those pumpkin heads, little bug legs. Old Mother Hubbard From 1992 to 2002, Clay was married to Kathleen "Trini" Monica. In 1990, he became the first stand-up comedian to sell out Madison Square Garden for two consecutive nights. A very similar song was found in 1868 in Scotland, but that song did not use pumpkin in its lyrics (as pumpkins were popular in the US only). Get TMZ breaking news sent right to your browser! and a lumpy, abrasive Dice Clay. (1920). Yep and unfortunately no one would show him on TV. (Ed.). He continued his TV and movie work and relaunched his standup career with a fraction of his past success. He even brought my roommate into it, fantasizing what would it be like to have both 'pairs' in his face. Within a few years Andrew Dice Clay's popularity increased and his audiences, getting as large as 20,000 people, laughingly knew every word of his \"poems\" in some of the biggest crowd-participations ever afforded a stand-up comedian. Add a video, Do you know any background info about this track? Scrobbling is when Last.fm tracks the music you listen to and automatically adds it to your music profile. [14] In 1982, Clay landed his first film role, appearing in Wacko. Georgie Porgie, pudding and pie Jerked off in his . A nice big, hairy, stinky, smelly fucking bush. She's like a walrus She got mad that Lewinsky was getting all of it, When it was over, if there were a garbage bag I would have worn it home. 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