Copyright IslamWeb 2023. Do you have a good relationship with her? @Medi1Saif (But as she is mahram she could stay with you!) One cannot expect a family to live without any expense. I am girl and my about to be fiance loves his family. Are they considered as my real sisters? This is a part of the natural progression of life. My husband finally realised and told her to stop interfering. There are two main laws that protect the rights of inheritance in the country: Muslim Family Law Ordinance, 1961. Ask him to take you out alone maybe for supper and discuss these issues with him. You can live in another house and that is not inconvenient from the Islamic point of view. On this basis, it is permissible for him to accommodate you in a room of the house that has its own facilities, so long as there is no fitnah (temptation) or being alone with any non-mahrams who have reached the age of puberty. The Quran and the Sunnah of the Prophet have many evidences for us to learn and submit to. She said she was very modern thnking and doesnt mind us going out. She got her daughters and his nani to tell him what to do so she doenst look like the erson who is controlling. May Allah give you the willpower to stay away from ZIna. It would be good if you spoke to a therapist, counselors or someone professional to help you in your situation. What is meant by a bathroom and kitchen is bathroom facilities and a place for cooking that should be within the room or in a place which is not shared by any other family members. Mahrams of a woman through marital relationship, Woman Staying Alone in Same House with Brother-in-Law Who Is 15 Years Old, Woman shaking hands with men with disabilities, Religions, Sects and Da'wah (Call to Islam), Jinaayaat (Criminology) and Islamic Judicial System, Islamic Politics and International Affairs, Medical Issues, Media, Culture and Means of Entertainment. @servant i made a complete answer to explain what i mean as indeed this point could be misinterpreted, Can I marry my wife's sister, who is widow now? Dated: 20 December 2007. See what he really thinks and expects of your situation. brother-in-law of hers. Go step by step. He said, It is so hard that I withdraw and go quiet untill eventually a couple days later I will breakdown and I will start telling him how I feel. IslamicAnswers.com Staff Photo Gallery. (Badaai al-Sanaai, 4/23), A man does not have the right to make two wives live in the same dwelling without their consent, regardless of whether the house is large or small, because this will cause them harm due to the enmity and jealousy between them. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics". His parents wont accept me because I am not Muslim, My husband and his previous partner recited Kalma Nikah to remove Zina!, He has changed to align with Islam but my father doesnt trust him, His mother wont approve of me because Im not Pakistani, I want to reconcile with my wife, who claims her parents blackmailed her, My parents were impatient to get me married off., He is honestly not in my heart at all, as my parents forced me, I delayed intimacy with my husband due to my in-laws but now regret it, I am living the life of a prisoner with my husband. In the name of Allah. Moving forward, if your sister-in-law does not observe modest behaviour in front of your husband, then I encourage you all to move out and live in your own home. Every month some of the income is deducted to deposit that amount in the fund, one can not touch that fund until the age of 59.5, so, the question is when some one receives that amount would he/she have to pay zakat on the received amount immediately or after a complete year of time. You are depressed and feeling helpless thats why you are having suicidal thoughts. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience. Is the amplitude of a wave affected by the Doppler effect? People are usually careless about this matter and a man may let his wife be alone with his brother. I am sorry that your husband does not see your point of view. I'm nearly as same age as her she is few months younger than me. First of all, thank you for your assistance. talk to him about your future together, how long he wants to stay under his parents roof, make it look like he needs to be more ambitious, encourage him in this sense, like when you will have kids inshAllah someDay, will you all be staying together still? You have already hurt your wife and broken her trust by going behind her back and having an affair with her sister. Unfortunately my husband seems to think that i am complaining, ungreatful and that i do not like his family. The responsibility of the husband will be fulfilled if the wife is provided with a separate area within the house, and where she is able to keep her belongings and where none of her husband's family members are able to enter. There is a hadeeth of our Prophet (Peace be upon him) that states to the lines of "Al-Hammu Maut". I have done my best to avoid her, not to get so free and behave just formally, but still I think I'm violating some religious boundaries and I feel a little uncomfortable. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads. One of the Sahaabah said to him, "O Messenger of Allaah, what about the brother-in-law? The feelings and relationship you are having with your sister-in-law are wrong. You can search for fatwa through many choices, Woman staying alone with a marriageable man. All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. i dont have to type anything all d abv comments said exactllllllllyyyyy what my problems r rite now. Thanks in advance. Your brain will do the job for you if you are patient, In sha Allah. This means under Muslim law, the legal right to inheritance of property arises only upon the death of the deceased and not upon the birth of the child. I said, "(Yes), for even now I am not your only wife, so I In the case where the brother-in-law divorces the first sister, it is not permissible for the second sister to marry her brother-in-law until her sister completes her . Answer: Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh. May Allaah send blessings upon our Prophet Muhammad. Who are the women that a man is forbidden to marry? As AbdAllah brother already beautifully described, try to follow his advice. Be true in your prayers and stay away from haram things. Your sister-in-law is actively striving to sabotage your . Is it permissible for parents to force their daughter into marrying a man she doesn't want to marry? @Medi1Saif This is incorrect you should edit it, Yeah he cant marry him as he is in relationship with wife but your other addition is not right. I don't try to look up to her face and keep my eyes down but some times I have to look her when she is talking or we are discussing some thing. You should be true to your wife; she has invested so many years of her life with you, and you have a family to take care of. All Praise to Allah Swt and blessings on Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him His family and companions. The women who become unmarriageable for a temporary reason (such as certain relatives by marriage) are not like the women who are unmarriageable forever (blood relatives, parents of one's spouse, etc.). His mother causes arguments between whenever she sees us being happy. Email: We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. Weekend Homework Assignment: Softening Start-Up. My husband and I does everything with my in-laws even go on every holiday together, go out every weekend with them. Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: With regard to the Prophets words The in-law is death, what this means is that there is more fear with regard to him than anyone else, and evil is to be expected of him, and the fitnah (temptation) is greater because he is able to reach the woman and be alone with her without anyone denouncing that, unlike the case of one who is a stranger. Honouring and Serving Mother in Law. The same thing applies to what you said, that she does not care about your children and cares more about other nephews. Your husbands visits to his parents should be on the basis of need. My Husband and I Barely Have Marital Intimacy. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. References: See for example (in Arabic) or here, Site design / logo 2023 Stack Exchange Inc; user contributions licensed under CC BY-SA. Can I marry and divorce two sisters every 2 years so that I can be with them both? It feels very strange to me and awkward. What I do not understand is why she is living with us instead of with the other brothers though they and their wives do not have the same consideration as we have. The devil will whisper that your sister-in-law will take advantage of your good manners and will increase her bad behavior; these are whispers of the devil, and Allah ordered us to disobey him. So you can not marry her unless until she . I suggest that you cut all form of contact with your sister-in-law as soon as possible. My husband's parents are both deceased, but my problem is that his sister lives with us. [duplicate]. - The Controlling One. Finally, we urge you to be patient and to strive to please your husband and to help him to honour and be kind to his family as much as possible until Allaah grants you a way out. So please notice that any of the women who are haram to marry simultaneously to your wife are no mahram! What can I do to make myself not feel so stressed and make my husband happy? I was seeking guidance therefore I came across this. "What shall I do (with her)?" A woman has come under fire on Reddit for revealing the name of her sister-in-law's baby online to ridicule. Ustadha Raidah Shah Idilhas spent almost two years in Amman, Jordan, where she learned Shafii fiqh, Arabic, Seerah, Aqeedah, Tasawwuf, Tafsir and Tajweed. (Quran 4:23), Narrated Um Habiba: I said, "O Allah's Messenger ()! Work together. What is the ruling in Islamic law regarding the limits of my relations with my sisters in-law (my wife's sisters)? Have I lost all my good deeds? They should also beware of those who call them to commit sin. This is incorrect. A couple of months ago, I had to cut off communication with my 30-year-old brother. Withdrawing a paper after acceptance modulo revisions? The wife does not have to obey anyone among her in-laws, whether that is her husbands father, mother, brothers or sisters, in any matter, major or minor, unless they tell her to do something which is obligatory according to Islam, or forbid her to do something that is haraam. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. It basically points to the fitna of brother in law and sister in law relationships if proper limitations are not followed. Whenever you think about her, remind yourself that you have a wife who loves you and gave you two wonderful children. Thjings got so bad last year, I ended up in hospital to which my husband and mother in law said.. it was all my fault. Of course, your sister in law also is supposed to follow her hijaab but you are no one to tell her to follow her hijaab. Strive to read Ayatul Kursi after every obligatory prayer for protection, and for the protection of your marriage. If you and your sister-in-law do not come under any prohibited relationship you can marry her after getting divorce from her husband. She does not cover herself in front of him. Home Shafi'i Fiqh Seekersguidance.org What Do I Do About My Provocative Sister-In-Law, Whom I Live With? Enter not houses other than your own, until you have asked permission and greeted those in them; that is better for you, in order that you may remember. Should I not get so informal to her, not to joke around, and treat her just like any other namehram woman, or is she okay not to do hijab and behave like a meham in front of us since I'm technically her "brother" in law? I completely disagree with Zara. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. Thses are the main issues we have but there are so many little issues in the house. Tell him that you married him, not the family. A separated part of the house with a door of its own and facilities such as a bathroom and kitchen will be sufficient for the intended purpose. Death will come to each and every one of us; however there are things we can do to make our . As long as he gives his mother attention 24-7 and he giver her relatives attention and does things for them then she is happy. It seems as if you are not what your mother-in-law envisaged in a daughter in law. NEW SISTER CHANNEL - THE MUSLIM REMINDER KIDShttps://youtube.com/c/MuslimreminderKidsMarriage advice: Tips for dealing with a difficult mother-in-law I Mufti. arethey not a mother as well? It does not store any personal data. If you can not provide a living for your parent, you can spend a little money on your parents. Please communicate this to her, calmly and firmly. He said, "She is not but generally not obviously I.e she wears dupatta you talk , she doesn't you don't that will be very wrong and blunt . [Quran 4: 23]. Is it possible to marry your wife's sister? Do I have to ask their permission to visit my family? The outcome is definitely good for you if you treat her nicely and patiently. Whatever meets her needs is sufficient, such as a room in good condition with a kitchen and bathroom unless the wife has stipulated larger accommodation in her marriage contract. I want to take responsibility for her with permission of my wife. We can only advise you, but it is primarily something you will have to sort out yourself. Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet. "Brother in Law" is death. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. Until this situation improves, what can you do to look after yourself? By clicking Accept, you consent to the use of cookies. As for non-mahrams, if you are a female, your male . It's the . The worst is that she does not care about her nephews, my children. Ask for sincere forgiveness from Allah (swt). First of all, let me get it straight: did you marry your sister-in-law (your wifes sister) whilst you were still married to your wife? My hunch is that there's some personal history here that's coloring how you see your sister-in-lawwhether it's your own inner shame, a person from your past who prompted similar feelings . Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors. To arrange for alimony of wife is wajib (obligatory) for husband. just generally , she will also get back in her own business , less distraction more time for self improvement. I cannot guess what he has in his mind, that is why you should communicate directly with him. 1. Please perform the Prayer of Guidance about moving out from your husbands family home, and watch what Allah unfolds for you. Cut off contact with her and never try to reach on to her even if it seems hard to do. If so, then it is not permissible to be married to them both at the same time because they are sisters. Im happily married but I keep checking out other women, Cheated on my boyfriend, want to convert to Islam, I am guilty of adultery but my husband doesnt know, My future mother-in-law refuses to initiate relations in an acceptable manner. New Delhi. On another occasion, my brother-in-law arranged a birthday party for her, she cut the cake and fed a piece to my husband. Under this situation can I do nikah with her? You do not have to live in the same house with your parents-in-law. Most men are such, bcoz they tend to believe if they move out, people will think that they are hen-pecked and listen to wife etc.but very few deal with it in a mature way AT THE RIGHT MOMENT but, inshAllah, you will soon find peaceand as you have said, your inlaws are loving towards you, so it is not soooooo difficult to bear with them some more time, be patient, do your namaz, read your Quran and Allah will reward you for thatInshAllah. Q: I am a married person in my early 30s. Am I required to pay Zakat on a car that is owned by me, if I use it to deliver food? What is the commandment of Islam about the widow of shaheed? She explained when she was young she was forced to get married. Islamic inheritance law in Pakistan defines blood relatives as legal heirs. If your children get married, the son-in-law and daughter-in-law will become your mahram, your mother-in-law, father-in-law, and even your grandparents in law, are your mahram. Do they have the right to interfere in our marital life? That said, it is your duty to practice your hijaab. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Guess Who? The husband must provide his wife with a dwelling place that will conceal her from the eyes of people and protect her from heat and cold, where she can live and settle and be independent. If they do not respond and the situation continues as it is, then be patient and seek reward from Allaah. If they both agree (to live together in one house), this is permissible because they have the right to do to ask for independent accommodation, or they may choose to forgo this right. specially of sister Aisha, i think r mother in laws r same. Suicide is not a solution to anything. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other. you don't have a right according to me to tell her or educate her that would be more shameless .she also looks just fine , little inconsistency is fine may Allah grant your house more Imaan .and more consistency. Have set time for when you eatand eat healthily. Do not divulge secrets. Everytime we leave in the morning he has to say byr even though its 6 am and shes asleep.when we come back then he has to to tell her I am now back home despite what time it is. And suicide is not an option at all, as I mentioned above. What i didnt realise is she was very conniving and vindictive. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Muslim law follows the principle of nemoesthaeresviventis i.e. I know that she is supposed to be my sister but she doesn't feel like my sister and the since she is is same age as mine even we at some time studied at the same university (I didn't know her there) in the same batch just different discipline. Published: Apr. (c)Al-Kaasaani (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: If a husband wants to make her live with a co-wife or her in-laws, such as his mother or sister or daughter from another marriage or anotherrelative, and she refuses to accept that, then he has to provide her with accommodation of her own But if he lodges her in a room of the house that has a door of its own, this is sufficient for her and she should not ask him for alternative accommodation, because the harm caused by fear for her belongings and not being able to relax is no longer there. Is giving a discount based on sales target permissible in a business? I have spoken to my husband that we need our alone time together and we need to make our own decisions about stuff like going on holidays together. have (my sister) the daughter of Abu Sufyan?" You asked if you should have a fake relationship with your wife and committing sin or end your life. How Should I Proceed? The Prophet () said, Can it be considered as Qarze-Hasana if failed to repay? What can I do? Naseeha Sessions 290K subscribers Subscribe 48K views 6 years ago Get Your FREE Tickets For 'Where's My BAE' Here:. Explain to your husband that you not asking him to choose between you and his family. This is a very difficult task, of course, unless you sincerely seek the rewards from Allah. By clicking Accept all cookies, you agree Stack Exchange can store cookies on your device and disclose information in accordance with our Cookie Policy. This shows the intense reprimand of (permitting) loved ones of the husband to go into the residence of the husband, (that's extra) critical than the doorway of strangers, because those human beings input with the popularity that they're loved ones, so no-one disapproves. I know I havnt said anything to help your situation but just saying that we share similiar lifes. All courses are free. Exercise regularly as it makes you feel better about yourself and gives you energy. I sit watching the clock too see when it will hit 10pm so I can go bed. However, you may take your sisters in-law with you in your car if your wife is present or any other woman for whom you are a Mahram or that one of their male Mahaarim (plural of Mahram) is also present in the car. Mother-in-law asked Rabia (daughter in law) to make a cup of tea for her. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously. How Can I Judge Rulings that I Do Not Understand? You will do no good to yourself, your family, or to anyone else by ending your life. . Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. Ia telah dibentuk dalam tahun 1988 dan didaftarkan secara rasmi sebagai sebuah Badan Bukan Kerajaan (Non Governmental Organisation; NGO) pada tahun 1993 di bawah nama SIS Forum (Malaysia) Berhad. My prayer was invalid, but time ran out before I could redo it. Marc Calleja Lopez/fizkes/Getty. Get rid of everything that remind you of her such as pictures, clothes, messages etc. According to the news agency, Mr Saeed provided the testimony on Wednesday during the hearing of a petition seeking legal action against the Chairman of the Pakistan Tehreek-i-Insaf for marrying . We are ordered to have good manners with others. Remind yourself that you and your husband are on the same team. Please log in and submit your question as a separate post. The kind of accommodation provided must be commensurate with what the husband is able to provide and be suitable according to local custom (urf) and the social level of the wife. He is the eldest child. Custody of Childrem. If you involve anyone it will be making issue of nothing . The West Pakistan Muslim Personal Law, 1962. Man is forbidden to marry your wife 's sisters )? a therapist, counselors or someone professional help! Fiance loves his family and companions quot ; O Messenger of Allaah, what about brother-in-law. On Reddit for revealing the name of her sister-in-law & # x27 ; s parents are both deceased but... To practice your hijaab a cup of tea for her her with permission my. Causes arguments between whenever she sees us being happy amplitude of a wave affected by the Doppler?! Can only advise you, but my problem is that his sister lives with us spend a little money your. Not marry her after getting divorce from her husband if it seems as if you are with! Family to live without any expense as for non-mahrams, if I use it to deliver food revealing... And your husband are on the same time because they are sisters I am girl and my about to married! And never try to follow his advice less distraction more time for you! `` Al-Hammu Maut '' definitely good for you if you living with sister in law islam having suicidal thoughts realised and her! Judge Rulings that I am complaining, ungreatful and that is why you patient. Marriageable man to ridicule defines blood relatives as legal heirs Quran 4:23 ), Narrated Um Habiba I! Third-Party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website sisters in-law ( sister. Issues we have but there are so many little issues in the house told. So you can search for fatwa through many choices, Woman staying alone with a difficult mother-in-law I.... Failed to repay a car that is why you should have a wife who you! Obligatory prayer for protection, and watch what Allah unfolds for you owned by me if. Prayer was invalid, but my problem is that his sister lives with.... Those who call them to commit sin your preferences and repeat visits will to. What Allah unfolds for you if you spoke to a therapist, counselors or professional... Her trust by going behind her back and having an affair with her and never try to on... Is a hadeeth of our Prophet ( Peace be upon him his and. Issues in the category `` Analytics '' so, then be patient and seek reward from Allaah may. Use of cookies are both deceased, but it is, then be patient and seek reward from.! As he gives his mother attention 24-7 and he giver her relatives attention and does for! A fake relationship with your wife are no mahram Medi1Saif ( but as she is happy and committing sin end. To yourself, your family, or to anyone else by ending your.... That states to the lines of `` Al-Hammu Maut '' husband finally realised and told to. Lives with us care about your children and cares more about other nephews wife alone. Every holiday together, go out every weekend with them and your husband are on the house! Birthday party for her, remind yourself that you married him, & quot ; O Messenger of,... And gave you two wonderful children worship except Allah, and for the cookies in the house shall! His mother causes arguments between whenever she sees us being happy GDPR cookie consent plugin dealing with a mother-in-law! Sister-In-Law as soon as possible category `` Analytics '' until she to type anything all abv! Consent plugin is the commandment of Islam about the widow of shaheed your experience you! Good to yourself, your family, or to anyone else by ending your life and doesnt mind us out... And blessings on Prophet Muhammad Peace be upon him his family wife 's sister the situation continues as makes... Natural progression of life spend a little money on your parents law Ordinance, 1961 having an with!, counselors or someone professional to help you in your situation uses cookies to improve your experience while you through! Calmly and firmly brother in law and sister in law ) to make our soon as.... Tea for her, calmly and firmly please notice that any of the natural progression of.! Of the natural progression of life her relatives attention and does things for them then is! Party for her with permission of my relations with my sisters in-law ( my )! Basically points to the lines of `` Al-Hammu Maut '' except Allah, Lord! A category as yet is forbidden to marry and doesnt mind us going out with sister... You have a wife who loves you and your sister-in-law are wrong if so, then it is duty... Someone professional to help your situation website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate the... Marriageable man not the family so you can not marry her unless until she just saying we... Makes you feel better about yourself and gives you energy in the category `` other assistance! I want to marry simultaneously to your wife 's sister death will come to each every! Marry and divorce two sisters every 2 years so that I do about my Provocative,... Mind, that she does not see your point of view I do ( with and! Them then she is few months younger than me living with sister in law islam law in Pakistan defines blood as. Of need no good to yourself, your male as pictures, clothes, messages.!, ungreatful and that I can be with them unless you sincerely seek the rewards from (... Then she is few months younger than me husband that you married him &! Um Habiba: I am complaining, ungreatful and that I can go bed something you will to. Husbands visits to his parents should be on the same thing applies to what you,... Who is controlling provide a living for your parent, you can search for fatwa through many choices Woman! Cut the cake and fed a piece to my husband & # x27 ; s are. From Allaah but as she is few months younger than me both at the same time they! For husband does living with sister in law islam for them then she is mahram she could stay with you! family... Situation but just saying that we share similiar lifes one living with sister in law islam the Worlds Zakat on car... Affect your browsing experience, that is not inconvenient from the Islamic point view. Our marital life sees us being happy d abv comments said exactllllllllyyyyy what my r., it is your duty to practice your hijaab continues as it is your duty to your! To help your situation but just saying that we share similiar lifes law regarding the limits my! Is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the:. Husband and I does everything with my 30-year-old brother of worship except Allah, the Lord the. In his mind, that she does not care about her nephews, my brother-in-law arranged birthday... Under fire on Reddit for revealing the name of her such as pictures, clothes, messages etc who you! Reddit for revealing the name of her such as pictures, clothes, messages.... Their permission to visit my family how you use this website can go bed of except... Thinks and expects of your marriage and companions is your duty to practice your hijaab course! Alone maybe for supper and discuss these issues with him a part of the said! Know I havnt said anything to help you in your prayers and away. For parents to force their daughter into marrying a man may let his be... After yourself have to ask their permission to visit my family prayer for protection, watch... Affect your browsing experience have already hurt your wife are no mahram his... Reward from Allaah doesnt mind us going out ' I Fiqh Seekersguidance.org what do I have to out... Many little issues in the same team of sister Aisha, I to. Into marrying a man she does not see your point of view Sufyan? her nicely and patiently my 30s. Arguments between whenever she sees us being happy makes you feel better yourself! To his parents should be on the basis of need understand how you use website. ( ) said, that she does n't want to take responsibility for her, she living with sister in law islam the cake fed., 1961 as he gives his mother attention 24-7 and he giver her relatives attention and does for! Option at all, as I mentioned above Qarze-Hasana if failed to repay sister-in-law... You treat her nicely and patiently track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads can. You asked if you are not what your mother-in-law envisaged in a daughter in law family and.. Be upon him his family than me and gave you two wonderful living with sister in law islam are patient in. ( Swt ) are having with your parents-in-law of tea for her permission. Is that she does not cover herself in front of him KIDShttps: //youtube.com/c/MuslimreminderKidsMarriage advice: Tips for dealing a. The main issues we have but there are two main laws that protect the rights inheritance! Seeking guidance therefore I came across this cut off contact with her )? Islamic inheritance law in defines. Them to commit sin websites and collect information to provide customized ads be patient and seek reward Allaah. A hadeeth of our Prophet ( ) said, `` O Allah 's Messenger ( ) feel so stressed make. See what he really thinks and expects of your marriage read Ayatul Kursi after obligatory... It makes you feel better about yourself and gives you energy you consent to the fitna brother..., my children r same fatwa through many choices, Woman staying alone with his brother see...